This is going to be very random about stuff I have seen around or dealt with( Do not think I am being BIASED or stereotyped).
So there’s this particular community of people in India who I studied with in college. Life back then was a lot more carefree and nonchalant. Most people were dating someone or the other, I was virtually not seeing anyone and happy with my choice.
None of those who dated got married to each other and the reason was simply because most of them lacked the courage to, it was fine to have a fling or two but beyond that it was the absolute say of parents that mattered, because in some cases property and real estate shares mattered , rarely did love , not to forget the social prestige and pomp that followed them.
A small outline of different incidents that occurred:
Case A: Girl and boy are friends, girl falls in love and then confesses to boy, boy is all for it and then at the end of the day realises that family is much more important and a different community girl will be ill-suited to those long term plans. End of love story, but he realises that the advantage would be to be friends with benefits , if at all there is no commitment.So that was it, an offer to her to use her, have fun with her and no strings attached to her.
Case B: The boy met the girl at a common friend’s bachelor party and then asked her out after a few drinks. A few days of talking late night on the phone,meeting for coffee and then the guy went and got engaged to someone else leaving the girl in the dark, also stating that nothing would work out.
Case C: Girl knew boy, they would meet at common friend’s place for coffee and she had no interest in him whatsoever. Common friend gave her number because he was interested and then he never called her. He also went and got married to someone from the same community and a girl of equal social standing.
Case D: Boy meets girl at a common friend’s birthday party and then asks her out the next day. They have an on and off fling and a couple of years later he asks her to meet him in a different city and then a week later gets engaged to a girl from same community.
Interesting to see how love is secondary and community is primary. Such importance placed on social standing and all that, that those weddings cease to interest me, I feel out of place at big weddings where the hotel venue,size of diamonds and the groom and bride’s assets matter and the rest takes a backseat. Hypocritical, two faced maybe but an integral part of the wedding scenario in India.
I do not have an aversion to weddings , but the opulence and the sheer amount of waste makes me feel like it’s not about the day , it’s not about the people, it’s all about the brands. I am from a Marketing background , so probably cardinal sin to say that, but all said and done , there’s a human side of me that sees the larger issues of the world that sometimes do seem to fade amidst the merry making and the wealthy!!!
More on this space later…………..