It’s high time I took over a lot of things and actually changed them rather than wishing them away.
To begin with I need to regain my self confidence and knock off all those extra kilos which means no fattening food,no drinks,fries and a lot of self control. There was a time I had a perfect figure but then I met someone and my world changed for a while. I became very used to doing things a certain way and my lifestyle changed. From a girl who was an early morning riser and exercised , I became a slouchy,sleepy girl who would wake up way beyond the sun rise and live a totally unhealthy life. I was so sure of where my life was going , I no longer felt the need to maintain myself and gave in to a lot of cravings and ate unhealthy food. It never dawned that I was destroying my body and my hormonal balance till I was diagnosed with “POCD”.
Now it’s virtually very very hard to loose even a little weight and the worst part is yet to be spoken about.Mood swings,anger,rage,insecurity and an unhealthy lifestyle. I was always an extrovert and talkative,so sure of myself and could carry myself in public. Now I am always obsessed about the weight gain issues and so forth. There’s a whole world of change that happens when you pile on a few extra kilos and to girls like me it can spell social disaster. It can mean wearing black for the rest of your life, it can mean hiding in parties and not wanting to meet people, it can also mean being judged on the way you look and criticised by your peer group. My so -called college buddies are all 90 percent in the married league now and sometimes when the guys talk about my weight issues, it does hurt a lot..But to some Indians humour is at it’s best when it’s aimed at someone else.
I know I am talented,smart,witty,have a fabulous sense of humour and taste and I can look pretty too , when I dress up, so why the low self esteem, why the focus on weight and why the loss of confidence. I realised I can’t expect people to change nor the comments to reduce, but it’s all upto me to focus, train hard and knock off every kilo. I am so inspired by a lot of people who did this in reality but more so I want to be fit so that I can do things I have really wanted to all my life.
2. Bungee Jumping
4. Scuba diving
5. Sky diving
6. Ballet again
7. Kayaking and white water rafting
I know it’s like a big huge list, but it’s the start to the adventurous side of me that wants to explore every unexplained option and walk on paths that are difficult and fun. I want to travel to different parts, see the world without being judged about being fat.
This is a journey where I fight my cravings,adopt a healthy lifestyle and knock off every extra kilo in a few months, but atleast by Christmas I should be able to wear my tube dress and look slim in it!!I do not aim to have perfectly photoshopped pictures where I look thin and nice, but actually work out and loose the flab and in the process discover me all over again.