Urban girls have so much going on in their lives, that at times it seems that they are non-emotional and just only interested in having fun or flings. There is so much more depth and the core of a woman is difficult to understand, because she is vulnerable, she knows that opening herself up to the world can expose her weakness and make her a target of many wolves in sheep’s clothing..So she starts internalising her pain, her sorrow, her difficulties and her smile is all that the world can see.Very few people actually understand another a human being and want nothing from them, zero expectation..
This happened to a very close friend.So what happens when an urban girl meets a guy she likes, initially she hesitates, yet she knows that there could be magic if sparks flew. After a couple of meetings sparks did fly but she was not sure if there was anything in the guy’s mind..That is when he opened up and told her he is in a “complicated relationship”…She did not understand the relative nature or the gravity of the relationship and slowly bit by bit unfurled herself to him..Little did she know that falling in love was not important in today’s world, it was not that simple or easy and no one really cared..She was a fairy/princess at home and the pet of everyone’s eyes, but in the outside world of grown-ups there were complications..
Just falling in love with someone was not enough, there were terms and conditions..Unconditional love, trust and understanding were not the prime pillars of a relationship..Her stories always had a villain or a fair maiden involved in them..in this case the later had won her Knight in Shining Armour’s heart and she had nothing to do except wait and watch..
Guys somehow think if they can’t e involved and in this case the guy was genuinely a nice guy, then they would definitely offer to be friends with the girl..I somehow relate this to the consolation or runner’s up trophy I used to get at debates and the judge would proudly beam and announce that everyone was a winner in their own way…Coming back to the girl I was talking about in the post, how could she just be friends with someone she was slowly and surely falling in love with, obviously she had no say or a choice and she was used to it. Normally guys would go out with her, tell her she is a fantastic girl and they would never want to disrespect her and finally tell her that being friends is the only way out…I do not understand what goes on in the mind of guys, do they think that being friends with someone is like a switch which goes on and off and it is easy to just switch feelings and make sure you never ever express falling in love with them ever, so that they are emotionally better off and definitely way more relieved..a perfect ego massage and soothes the toughest of people, when they think they have done their duty or favour..
Did I forget to mention that guys will also tell the girl not to have any expectations, what are we- robots or puppets???
My learning from this:-
- Fall in love, make the person understand , atleast try, then if nothing happens, you have brownies and candy to comfort your broken heart..
- The next time someone says I am in a complicated relationship- day 1 ask the person the status of the relationship!!
- Don’t fall for complication unless your foolproof!!
- Stay heart-smart and if you can’t be friends with someone, tell them upfront!!
- Don’t get emotionally attached unless your sure of where you stand!!
- Definitely important not to get carried away by the qualities a guy has and loose track of the fact that “your a secondary option”!
- Never ever opt for a fling, it ends you getting more hurt and deeply involved in the process!
- There are so many guys out there who hide or fake it, but if someone is real you will figure out the difference, look for real and don’t play around with someone’s feelings
- Also if you cannot help falling in love, then make sure you have your besties/ friends who will counsel you and help you deal with heartbreak..