The worst part about life is not when you go through hell, when you know the reason why your going through it and it’s cause of someone who you trusted and that is ripped apart, you realise your human, you realise you have to work on yourself a lot more, especially cause it takes people less than 5 seconds to shatter your reputation, assassinate your character and crucify your personality. It takes a fragment of a second to break anything especially when it is about relationships, but to build, unite & bind it takes a lot more hard work and a combination of so many factors.
People rarely stop and clarify, but assumptious judging and conclusions take only 2 seconds to draw and reach to, there are many times I have seen that people who are popular are subject to being talked about and misquoted, there is always someone who wants to stay in the limelight and the ends justify the means.
There are no rules on how to be friends and no parameters that are defined. We bond with different people at different levels and have different understanding with them, there are often stebacks and misunderstandings..No rule book exists or perfect definition of ideal friendship but the basics are the same and here’s some simple ones I follow with my close set of pals:
- Do not make judgemental comments about their partners without being asked to share any sort of opinion..
- Do not arrive at random assumptions based on other’s evaluations
- Do not share their secrets with others
- Do not share the same sort of rapport with everyone, hence the level of what is shared differs
- Do not lie or cheat, not giving full information is not equivalent to lying
- Expect people to be outright and talk straight
- Love,respect them no matter what profession or position they are in
- Keep communication clean and clear. do not use any intermediary channels
- Do not comment on their choice of life partners
- Do not give my close friends false praise and be upfront
- Do not justify, they understand me without being explained to..
- Apologise if I have hurt them
- Let my ego take a trip and do not show any fake attitude with them..
Some of the problems or difficult people I have met who have misunderstood me are the best of my friends a couple of months or years down the line. There are some who have come, become close and yet today there is no conversation because time has moved us apart. The virtual world and technology is a blessing because I can connect in an instant with friends who are miles away. So it does help me staying in touch with friends who understand me and can wipe away my tears in an instant.
Relationships are difficult, not always the same and sometimes saying sorry does not amount to anything. There are complications but despite it all the ones who matter stay till the end, the rest are just lessons..