As time goes on the definition of friends change, what was friendship and tying bands at ten, seems like a childish lost dream. As school finishes groups change, college dreams take over and somewhere the friends from school remain in the background. I lost a few friends over the last few years and slowly grew accustomed to drop outs and decline in numbers.
So what was special about Sarah, she was my sunshine,she was my shopping buddy,she was the keeper of my secrets, she was the one who taught me driving and failed miserably,she was the one with whom I discovered Benson & Hedges and then quit them for life, she was the with whom I made all my Saturday plans and without whom a restaurant visit would be incomplete, we would giggle over jokes and crack up at the slightest situations. I cannot remember a drive memory without thinking of her white Maruti 800 and zipping through it in the rain and playing songs and fighting over which songs to play.
I was only 9 when I came to Bangalore and Sarah was my sunshine girl in school,she made school less intimidating for me along with Ms Dimple. Sarah sealed friendship and was my neighbour for a long time, still is yet our hearts and minds are far away. What happened?What went wrong? What did I say or do to hurt her? Well the list is trivial, the answer however is simple, we just outgrew each other. Our childhood dreams paved for bigger ones and we changed as we kept growing and eventually Sarah no longer needed me to share her thoughts,messages or even tell me her secrets. Sarah had new friends and suddenly Ruam was just a face in the background. I changed as well and for a while had moved out of Bangalore, that move changed my life in so many ways and also robbed me in a way of Sarah’s companionship and friendship.
Sarah and I are both born in November,she is a year older and her smile and laughter are infectious, she was someone who looked at me and could tell if I was upset or lost. We had both lost each other to something that decided to change the course and somehow we had fallen prey to it, no it was not jealousy or competition, it was life that changed it’s bends and decided we could not walk together on the same road and had nothing more to share.I hope someday when and if Sarah reads this,she realises I never walked away, I was always stuck at the bend waiting for her to smile and everything would be forgiven and forgotten but maybe I am too much of an eternal optimist and I have nothing more to offer my childhood friend of eighteen years.
Wishing and hoping that those who surround me know the value of her smile and realise the love she has inside her and help her spread sunshine all around. I was just a chapter in the book of friendship..
Don’t let time change your friends and those who you value, someday you will realise those experiences as trivial as they seem eventually change you as a person.